Libby!

(Yes, that's a Fact's of Life Reference)

So, here's the dealio with my health.  Had this fever since September.  They've ruled out all things infectious (HIV, Malaria, West Nile to name a few fun ones).  They've ruled out Lupus.  They've ruled out cancer in the pre-screening tests.  Now, we're onto rheumatology as I have 3 tests that keep coming back with elevated results (all tests that have to do with inflammation).  Where that inflammation is?  Your guess is as good as mine.

They put me on prednisone for 10 days and I felt like a million bucks (aside from the fact that I couldn't sleep).  Took the tests again.  One came back exactly the same.  Another came back with better numbers.  The other had WORSE numbers.  The doctor looked at me and said, "I have no friggin' clue."

After coming off prednisone and feeling achey as can be, he's thinking maybe rheumatoid arthritis.  So, I get to have a full body (bone and joint) scan to see what lights up--if anything.  If the test comes back positive, they start treatment.  If it comes back negative, I get to cross my skeleton and joints off the list and move on to the next thing.  So, I guess that's the bad of it all.  It's been a hard journey, waiting for test results, wondering, "will I be around to see my child grow up?"  Hard stuff and I haven't really told a lot of people, so it's been a bit lonely keeping it all in.

Now . . . THE GOOD NEWS.

I was awarded a fellowship through my graduate program.  Myself and one other person (unsure who) were chosen as the top writers in the program.  A huge deal for me.  It's a nice chunk of money for school, and fellowships look really AWESOME on your resume.   

The thing about this fellowship is that you don't apply for it, the faculty nominates students and they vote.  It was unanimous for me--meaning every single English department council member voted yes on me, some who have never met me but who have only read my work.  That means a LOT to me.  A friggin' LOT.  I feel so honored and I get to accept this award at a big dinner.  I'm really excited.

So, I'll definitely take the good in this case.  The universe can keep the bad for all I care.