January 22, 2009

  • So, what do you do when there are a group of you and one within the group hates your guts.  I mean, you aren't sure why.  She won't respond to emails or phone calls.  She just ignores you, even though you've tried to communicate.  You wish you knew why so you could apologize for whatever it was you did.  None of the other people in the group know, they just kind of shrug and say, "that's how Jane_Doe is sometimes, passive aggressive and such...." 

    Do you just give up?  Even though you got along great with this girl in the past and you find yourself going through a laundry list of what you could have possibly done wrong to honk her off?  Or, you think maybe you're just an idiot and stupid and she's just now realizing how lame you are? 

    I'm tempted to give it one last shot.  I wish I had ESP. 

    Do people really still do this in their 30's? 

Comments (6)

  • Sad to say, yes.  And all you can do is shrug it off, keep her in the group, and hope they come around, or just stop dealing with her and hope she realizes just how immature she's being.

  • Hey there!  We women are such a different group of people arent we?  We do that in our thrities, fourties even fifties..

    The only way I can rationalize this.. apparently there is something within you, she wishes she had.  Just keep being you,  stay in the group and one day she will figure it out.  In the meantime. dont change, dont fret... in time you and she will know the answer

  • They do still do that. It's pathetic and it's nuts. And how can anyone hate YOU anyway? You're unhateable.

  • Well, I'm definitely not likable at times and I know that.  But, this has gone beyond me just wondering and right to "whoah, I've done something wrong."  I realize folks need space from people at times (or the world in general.)  And I realize that someone could annoy the living frack out of a person and not realize it.  I think the biggest thing for me is that I hate (with the intensity of a thousand suns) when I do something stupid or hurtful and don't realize it.  You think I would at this point in my life, that I would get it.  I like having the opportunity to apologize, I guess.  Or, to fix a misunderstanding.  If I'm acting like an ass, I'd prefer someone tell me, "geesh, what you said/did/did NOT say on X_day was really not cool."  I suck at the guessing game.  But, when you're sitting at a table with a group of women and one doesn't like you (as this woman does not,) it's a bit uncomfortable.  Bleargh.  If someone doesn't like me for a stupid reason, that's fine.  I won't lose sleep over it, but if I acted like a total jack-hole, I want to know that shit.

    And for some really weird reason, I'm having freaky intense deja vu right this moment.  Holy !**.

  • Sadly, some just don't seem to mature like others do. I've realized this with people who are in their 40's (and I'm just beginning my 20's). Its disappointing at most. =(

    If I had to work closely with someone who was acting completely anti-social towards me, with little knowledge of why,... (as I am a guy) I would confront either her, or someone who could assist in some kind of intervention. Its always a risk tho. Sometimes interventions, when approached in a hostile way, can only hurt relationships.

  • she's probably jealous. just stay in the group. don't let her know it is bothering you. let her be the one to realize she is acting inappropriately. if she doesn't, then hopefully she will leave the group!

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